Swine Flu Chat Part 1

Taken from a chat session hosted by SciGuy (Eric Berger)
http://blogs.chron.com/sciguy/


2:50
Eric Berger: Good afternoon, everyone. I'm here to try and answer any questions you have with regard to the swine flu outbreak. Given that 2 percent of tweets now reference swine flu, I think it's safe to say a lot of people are talking about it.

So let's do just that.
3:01
[Comment From Jimbo]
Eric. You do great work. Is it true that you can build your immunity to this illness by eating Pork?
3:02
Eric Berger: No. And it's also not true that you can get the illness by eating pork.
3:04
[Comment From Dennis]
Should i go buy those Masks now... And is that going to create more Panic if i am wearing one at a grocery store in Mid Town?
3:05
Eric Berger: I think masks will give you a false sense of security. The easiest way to get the disease is by touching a door knob or grocery cart after someone who is sick has used it. You're better off washing your hands than wearing a mask in most circumstances.
3:09
[Comment From Guest]
Can I punch the next person that asks if they need to stop eating pork? Punch them right in the face...
3:09
Eric Berger: Only if they're from Katy.
3:26
[Comment From Riff Raff]
I eat a lot of Bacos on my salads. Should I wash them before putting them on the salad or not?
3:26
Eric Berger: No, no need to wash your Bacos.
4:04
[Comment From OoO]
FYI. If Eric is doing a Live Chat about this, then we're ALL GONERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAME OVER MAN....... GAME OVER!!!!!
4:03
[Comment From TMCist]
Should I consult an oinkologist?
4:03
[Comment From Running Scared in Katy]
Is my dog safe from the pandemic if I tie him up outside and keep him away from doorknobs and shopping carts?
4:03
[Comment From Guest]
im cooking pork chops tonight. shall i serve my husband extra servings?

(Thanks to Hill for this find)

How far can you throw a pineapple?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hii
You: How far do you think you can throw a pineapple by just holding it by the stem?
Stranger: Not too far
Stranger: but that was really interesting
You: Like, 8-10 yards?
You: I think you probably couldn't throw it too hard, because the stem would break.
Stranger: wouldnt it just fall?
Stranger: thats what i was thinking
Stranger: is this some sort of iq questions?
Stranger: cuz i havnt really played around with much pineapples
You: No, I was planning on throwing some pinapples at people out of my car later. I'll probably just stick with cantelopes.
Stranger: niiice
Stranger: dont get arrested
Stranger: and dude, dont hit old people
You: Mostly just the homeless. They need a balanced diet and stuff. It's more of a community service than anything.
Stranger: That is so generous
You: I am a very generous soul.
You: I like to share myself in various ways.
You: Mostly just the fist and feet part of myself, though.
Stranger: by throwing food
Stranger: You wana hear a joke
You: I love jokes. Go for it.
Stranger: KNOCK KNOCK
You: Who is there?
Stranger: byeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Alt F4

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: sup
Stranger: press alt F4
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Stranger: no
Stranger: hold alt
Stranger: then press F4
You: what will happen?
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Stranger: nah press it
You: but thank you for your advice, albeit forceful
Stranger: oh sorry
Stranger: i didnt mean to be forceful
You: lets get serious, i will f*ck you until you love me, faggot
Stranger: in all honesty it actually closes your window
Stranger: . . . right
Stranger: now where did that come from little matey?
You: do you doubt my powers?
Stranger: yeah!
Stranger: ok
You: i have made 5 married men homosexuals before
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Stranger: yeeaahhh . . . your really boring actually
You: my powers involve butt sex with men, not ip address acquistion, friend
Stranger: no fun
Your conversational partner has disconnected.